a little breath

I was talking with a friend last night about listening to the voice inside, the one that knows exactly what is right, and makes it movements from the heart. And the other voice that says that all that heart-talk is bull. There is a crystal clear consciousness that I know I am capable of but somehow my schizophrenic brain tends to get in the way, over-thinking, over analyzing and separating itself from those heart movements. I had the extreme privilege of listening to Natalie Goldberg speak at a private event and she cut right through all that bull. She said if you want to be a writer, sit your ass in the chair and write, if you want to go on a diet, stop putting so much food into your mouth, if you want to be a runner, strap on your shoes and put foot to pavement. Sometimes we can talk ourselves to death, thinking, analyzing and wondering what the right decision is. Our hearts know all along, and don’t need to dither and worry. This morning I was deciding what book I wanted to talk about and looked through my copy of Marcus Aurelius Meditations. Here is what Marcus has to say about staying in the present moment and moving from the heart,

Were you to live three thousand years, or even thirty thousand, remember that the sole life which a man can lose is that which he is living at the moment; and furthermore, that he can have no other life except the one he loses. This means that the longest life and the shortest amount to the same thing. For the passing minute is every man’s equal possession, but what has once gone by is not ours. Our loss, therefore, is limited to that one fleeting instant, since no one can lose what is already past, nor yet what is still to come – for how can he be deprived of what he does not possess?
For the sole thing of which any man can be deprived is the present; since this is all he owns, and nobody can lose what is not his.

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