don’t ask don’t tell

I read Eat Pray Love before it was hailed as a bible or mocked as one spoiled woman’s funded journey to freedom. After I read it, I thought this will happen to me. Not that I would write a mega bestseller or travel the world but somewhere in the deep basement of knowing I knew I would get divorced and live somewhere new. When I went to work the next day I told my friend and co-worker, “I’m afraid I’m going to end up divorced.”  “Don’t say it,” she said, ”it’ll come true.” I laughed it off. And although I never asked for one I got a divorce three years later and a year after that moved to a town I barely knew existed. Part of the problem was that I wasn’t asking or praying for anything. Going through the motions I watched my life like I was a tourist on the worst vacation. In the pray part of EPL, Gilbert says,

“Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can’t be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I’m aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don’t have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift.”

This book didn’t change my life but it was one of the many little stones that I stepped on to get me to the place where I stopped being afraid to ask for what I wanted.

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