A terrible cookie habit has plagued me for a bit longer than I care to admit. And with the sugar comes other terrible habits that don’t make my life any better. Certainly, there is the instant gratification. I want peanut butter cookie. I am eating peanut butter cookie. But this habit happens with people too. I want to see so and so. I am with so and so. Why do I feel so bad after hanging with so and so? Why do I feel so sluggish after indulging in peanut butter cookie? I have placed a self-induced ban on cookies, chocolates, sugary desserty sweets and all insulin spiked relationships in my life. The it’s so sweet to be with you, so sour to be without you relationships. I’m on day two. So you know, day two, so far so good. The breakthrough here for me is that I’m tired of feeling like I need the cookie or the person to make my life sweeter. I don’t, and by listening to myself I have a far better chance of getting exactly what I want instead of pacifying myself. I have a very yellowed, worn copy of The Way of Life by Lao Tzu and today he bestowed this piece of wisdom upon me,
There is no need to run outside
For better seeing,
Nor to peer from a window. Rather abide
At the center of your being;
For the more you leave it, the less you learn.
Search your heart and see
If he is wise who takes each turn:
The way to do is to be.